![]() I quickly walked into a tiny dressing cubicle. It was decided that I would go change while she had a brief tour. I introduced my daughter and explained that she’d love to see the radiation room. In the hospital, after sitting down to wait for our turn, my name was called and for the first time, someone else got up and walked into the treatment area with me. The thing was, I needed someone to take me to the hospital, and she needed to feel needed. ![]() She said that this would give other people a break. I explained that she didn’t need to take me for my treatments and that I had rides lined up. When my daughter came home from university in the spring, she wanted to help. It was my secret, and that made it easier for me to feel as if my cancer wasn’t real. It was like dropping someone off at the mall. The appointments were quick, and they wouldn’t need to pay for parking if they stayed in the car, but also, and more importantly, I realize now that I could remain the same person I was before I got out of their car if they didn’t see me inside the hospital. When friends drove me to my appointments, I asked them to wait in the car. While the medical community treated the “out of control” in my body, I worked to remain in control.Īs a radiology patient, I only allowed two people to go into the hospital with me over the four weeks that I was a patient. It is created from atypical cells that duplicate out of control. Medically speaking though, cancer is abnormal. Wherever I went, however, I presented a perfect persona and pushed my cancer down further into my Jungian shadow. Should I have responded differently? And why didn’t I when he asked? It was my opportunity to connect. “Yes,” I replied, “Just tired.” He knowingly nodded and walked past me. It was normal I made it normal for everyone including myself.Ī colleague inquired if I was okay when I was moving up a double flight of stairs as slowly as a snail. Everything appeared normal when I returned to work after one week.
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